3 steps to becoming a happier professional
There is so much pressure being put on young professionals in today’s world. In addition to the internal drive we have to be successful, we are constantly bombarded with the successes of our friends and colleagues through social media. While professional comparison existed before, and also exists outside of social media, other people’s successes are more easily accessible and can be consumed at a higher rate because of it. It is great to see and celebrate other people’s achievements; seeing just how well the people around you are doing can be a great stimulant for personal advancement. However, it is also really easy to fall into the trap of measuring the worth of our lives by the apparent standards set by others.
As a person of faith, I believe that my identity and worth is not defined by my work. Every individual is created with value and worth that far supersedes the work they do, but the pressures of comparison have often left me comparing myself to others based solely on the quality of work I have done. I realize how often we fall into this trap, so I want to share some ways I have been able to navigate comparison at the professional level.
- Define what success means to you:
This is perhaps the most important exercise that I believe a person can do. The world is constantly changing, and this means the goalpost of success is always shifting. Living our lives based on other people’s definitions of success means we will probably never arrive at any true success. Many people today strive towards other people’s ideals, working hard to meet a goal that doesn’t really exist and loathing every step along that journey because it doesn’t resonate with them on an elemental level. Defining success for yourself helps you work towards your own goals, and teaches you to enjoy the process of working towards them.
During my first professional role as an associate in an accounting firm, it was a rite of passage to begin taking professional accounting exams within your first year at the firm. There are 14 exams you have to pass to get accredited, and these exams take months to prepare for and years to complete. But for me, success meant learning as much as I could about the financial industry in a 2–3 year period without sitting for the exams. The clarity I had from setting my goals early helped me identify my priorities, and those priorities influenced my decision making. I had no intention of building a career in accounting, so taking the exams, even though all my colleagues were, was not on my agenda. Needless to say, I stood out like a sore thumb amongst my colleagues.
Could I have started the exams just to gain the knowledge as so many people advised? Absolutely. But I knew I would not be able to finish the papers in 3 years, and time is my most important resource. So I dedicated myself instead, to building my not-for-profit initiative: the Young Girls’ Empowerment and Development Initiative (YGEDI), and investing time and energy in this yielded its own sweet rewards. I was extremely delighted to be recognized as a highly commended runner-up for the Queen’s Young Leaders Award and had to participate in an intensive one-year online course on “Leading Change” with the Institute of Continuing Education at the University of Cambridge. Defining my goals early and devoting my time to them helped me achieve relevant success that aligns with my personal vision.
2. Have a strong support system
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” — African Proverb
The importance of having a strong support system cannot be overemphasized. In 2018, I learned the difference between a mentor and a sponsor via a TEDx talk by Wall Street banker, author and motivational speaker, Carla Harris. It is essential to have both as you build towards success. We all need mentors: people who steer us in the right direction and who help us refocus when we get distracted by the world. We also need people who will advocate for us, spend their social capital to help us and speak on our behalf in rooms we are not invited into, as a good sponsor does. I have learned in my professional experience that the relationships we build are critical to our success.
Thankfully, at my accounting job, I had a coach who supported me. I shared my plans with her and she bought into my vision. She spoke up for me in rooms I had no access to and always encouraged me to follow my passions. Outside the office too, I had a mentor who made my success her business. For the first time, in January 2018, I designed my vision board per her request and shared it with her. Since then, it has become a thing I do at the beginning of every year.
Having a great support system is one of the best things I have done in my career and life in general. Some people advocate for having multiple mentors for different areas of your life. I am not an expert at this, but I advocate that you have at least one. A great support system will enrich your career and keep you accountable to the goals that you have set. Your support system will be an anchor for you, so you don’t get swept away by other people’s definition of success.
3. Turn it off
Sometimes what we need is not a plan, but rest. I think it is important to frequently turn off the noise from social media. Some articles address why social media bosses don’t use social media. I think it is healthy to take a social media hiatus every now and then. In my experience, I have learnt to live with all my notifications turned off, and I delete my social media apps frequently to rid myself of the strain it places on my mind and emotions.
We must have the presence of mind to know when we need to feed on things that build us up and re-energize our souls and spirits. There are so many great media forms that uplift and energize: podcasts, books, audiobooks, TEDx talks, etc. Sometimes, all we need is to lay down the weight the world places on us and rest, so we have the energy to soar to the heights of true success.
Success looks different to different people in different seasons, so make sure you are focused on success that is meaningful and relevant to you. Don’t be swayed by what other people are doing. You will find the most fulfillment when you properly align your thinking, actions and processes with your own definition of success rather than chasing after other people’s definitions. One of my favorite Japanese concepts is Ikigai- the nexus of one’s passion, mission, vocation and profession. I strongly encourage you to try out this exercise as you work towards living a more wholesome, fulfilling life.
In arriving at our definition of success, it could be helpful to seek insight from people you trust and admire. Our definition of success should not be different for difference-sake. There are people who might have blazed ahead of us whose experience could prove vital in defining our own goals. Their wisdom can inform and inspire us as we discover our own passions and what makes us tick. However, it is our responsibility to find the balance; to pause when the time is right, and do the work of self-discovery when the season demands it.
I am fully aware of my journey, and this awareness empowers me to celebrate myself, but also to celebrate others. Everyone has a purpose, and I believe our ultimate goal is to live lives that impact others. No two paths are exactly the same, and the sky is big enough for all of us to soar. So give yourself the permission to be authentic, to be you and to thrive on your own path.
